SHE DOESN'T RECOGNIZE ME, BUT THAT'S OKAY

Every week I visit the local nursing home.  I sit with Frank, a World War II vet, and read him sports scores.  I bring Sister Rita cookies, and I sit and talk to a woman named Mary, who has Alzheimer's.  Each person enjoys my company and is glad that I stop by to tell a story.

For the past half year, I've noticed that the light has gone out of Mary's eyes.  It has been a slow process, as with other people who have this disease.  I've heard it called the "long goodbye", and I can understand where that came from.  It is a long and torturous process.

When I first met Mary, I used to sit with her and tell her stories about my husband and son.  She always gave a big smile when I walked into the room, especially when I walked in with Derek.  She knew who I was, she asked about my family, and enjoyed our conversations.  I looked forward to seeing her every week.

Now, things have changed.  Lately, Mary has been on pain medication, which makes her sleepy.  When I walk in the room, she does not who I am, and conversation is one-sided.  Sometimes, it is almost like I am looking into her eyes and she does not see me, almost like she's somewhere else.  It probably is the pain medication, but without it, she would be miserable.  

My only comfort is that once in a while, she does smile, and sometimes she does recognize me.  It does not happen that often, but if I can make my friend smile, it is worth it.

THANKSGIVING ANXIETY

Thanksgiving is just around the corner.  So much to do with so little time.  We are having company at our home this year.  We are having turkey, stuffing and all the trimmings, and will have the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade playing on the background.  It is one of my favorite holidays, outside of Christmas.

I'M TOO TIRED TO EAT

I've spent a couple of sleepless nights since we found out about our next door neighbors's move.  Maybe I worry too much about Derek.  I don't know.  However, I never had my best friend move away when I was 7 years old.

Nevertheless, on the bright side, my lack of sleep has made my appetite go down.  Two days into the diet and I'm doing very well.  I haven't touched Derek's Halloween bag and it hasn't tempted me, either.  Had a salad with chicken today for lunch, some almonds for a snack.  Keeping away from the killer carbs.  It's tough to keep away from the bread and pasta, especially when I'm from Italian descent.

I've gotta get some sleep.  Derek's been in bed for an hour, and Philip is watching some kind of sport on tv (I guess).  Time to lift a book and relax.

HALLOWEEN FESTIVITIES

We had a very busy two days.

Today, I was at Derek's school, helping with the class party.  I made 24 white cupcakes with orange icing (with pumpkin faces on top).  There are sixteen kids in the class, but there were no cupcakes left over.  They were a big hit.  I had made Halloween spice cookies (A Martha Stewart recipe), but I decided that maybe it would be a little too spicy for the kids.

Last night, there was a Halloween parade at the park.  The kids walked around the baseball fields a few times.  It was dark, and a little cold.  I was not thrilled about that, since it started at five, and we usually have dinner at 5:30.  It screwed up my whole schedule, but Derek had a good time, and that is what was important.

After dinner yesterday, Philip and Derek carved the pumpkin and displayed it in the bay window.  Afterwards, we watched “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown” on DVD.

Today(Halloween), Derek dressed as a pilot, in a brown jumper with Air Force logo and white helmet.  I do not know where he got the idea, but he has wanted to be a pilot for the past year.  Unfortunately, it was so cold and windy outside today that Derek had to wear his winter jacket.  He was not happy, but I did not want him to be sick for a week.  There were not many kids out there today; meanwhile, Philip, Derek and I were out for two hours.

Once home, I made apple cider for the three of us, then we went through Derek’s bag.  I was so happy to be home and done with Halloween for this year. 

It is time to start planning for Thanksgiving.

WHEN FRIENDS MOVE AWAY

Philip, Derek and I went to dinner last night at our next door neighbor's house on the left side, the Girardi's (Roberta is on the other side).  they said that they had something to tell us, and since it was a school night, I thought that it was a little out of the ordinary.  While we were there, they told us that they are moving to Texas because Bob has been transferred.  They will be gone within the month.

I am heartbroken for Derek.  The news hit him especially hard because he is friends with their two children, Jackie 10, and Curtis 8.  He and Curtis are like two peas in a pod, and Derek plays with him just about every day.  He doesn't seem to understand why things like this happen, and both Philip and I spent a lot of time talking to him about it.

I'm not looking forward to that day.

THE NOT SO NATURAL

Well, I've come to realize that Derek is not a natural soccer player.  He barely runs to the ball and spends most of his time twirling to see his shadow.  He does like that shadow.  It's hard to believe that it was his last game.  I'm going to miss watching him play :(

After the game, I drove Derek to the mall and we went to Sprinkle City. I was going to take him to see a movie, but I didn't know what time Philip was going to be home from work.  Had to get dinner ready, etc.  The lasagna came out great as usual.  Love that stuff.

After ice cream and lasagna today, I can safely say that I'm off the diet until Monday.

SO MUCH FOR THE DIET

I just inhaled a whole bag of kettle corn.  So much for the diet.  I really want to lose at least 20 lbs by Christmas.  I was doing so well.  Tomorrow's the weekend, and I'm making lasagna.  Looks like I'm starting the diet on Monday (again).

Now, Halloween is looming.  Chloe, I and the kids always go through the neighborhood together.  Most of the time, Philip walks with us, although he's been pretty busy at work as an accountant.  I really don't like Halloween much, but then again it gives me an excuse to pick through Derek's bag looking for the Reese's.  See?  That's not helping my diet either.  That reminds me, I have to go to the mall and pick up a pilot costume.

INTRODUCING VICTORIA WILDER

Hello Everyone,

I would like to introduce myself.  My name is Victoria Wilder.  I am 35 years old, I've been married to my husband, Philip Wilder for the past 10 years.  We have one wonderful son, Derek, who is 7 years old.

I have a lovely house, and I love to cook.  I am a devoted wife and mother, involved in activities at church and at school.  I'm always there for those who need me.  I am a terminal dieter.  The dieting never ends.  You could say that I was content with my life, which I must admit, is not very exciting.  But who needs excitement when you are happy? Right?

Although I am a fictional character, many women could relate to my life, and experience what I've experienced.  I could be someone you know.  Who knows?  I could be just like you.