I'M GETTING SICK OF FAILURE

I tried.  I swear to God, I tried.  Desperate times calls for desperate measures, so I tried.

I made his favorite food.  I put our son to bed early.  I tried to get his attention, but was rejected...again.  I don't know how much more my ego can take.  I'm mortified.

A half-hour ago, after he went to bed (IN THE GUEST ROOM), I was literally crying in the bathtub and praying for guidance.  Now, I'm sitting bleary-eyed in front of the computer, and I'm still miserable.   I wish that I had a husband that did not take me for granted--I really do.   I desperately need support from him so that my mind does not start to wander.  The problem is that I know exactly where to find the support I need, but it's not an option.  I wish it were that easy.

I'm wishing so many things at this point.  I'm close to the edge, and hoping that I will not fall.