DEREK IS GOING ON A PLANE RIDE--DAMN THOSE STUPID MEN!

OKAY, I'M GOING TO PANIC A LITTLE--OR A LOT!

Philip came home early today, and told me that he talked to Mark about a promised plane ride for Derek. They are doing it tomorrow!  I'm speechless!

If I haven't mentioned it already, Mark is a former Navy pilot, who gives lessons on the side at an airport about a half hour away.  He also takes kids and their parents for rides once in a while (for a price, but I think that he's doing us a favor on his day off).  I trust Mark, and I believe that he is an excellent pilot (not that I'd ever go up in the air with him), but this is my baby we're talking about!  This revelation has put me in full blown panic mode.  I think that I'm going to be sick!

Of course, Derek is very excited.  His mom?  Not so much.  I thought that the three of them had forgotten about the stupid idea, of which I put the kibosh on months ago--or so I thought--or I hoped that they would have forgotten it.  Now, I am stuck, just like in August, when they talked me into Mark taking him on a motorcycle ride.  Once again, I'm on the spot.  If I say no, I will solidify my standing as a worrisome, panic-stricken helicopter mom (that's me...nice to meet you).

I can't even bring myself to join them.  I can't watch my little guy get in that plane and  fly away from me--I just can't.  I'll just stay home, pray, or do some kind of calming exercise--like Yoga.  I'll probably throw up a couple of times as well--this news is doing wonders for my already tricky stomach.  I will not be relaxed until I see my boy walk in that door.

I just want to know how long those two idiots (Philip and Mark) have been cooking this up, and why didn't either one of them tell me before now?  I'm also wondering HOW in the world they have kept the secret from me.  They know how worried I get--well I guess that explains it.  They did not want to tell me.  Philip wanted to surprise Derek, and once Derek found out today, there was no turning back.

I have a feeling that SOMEBODY is in deep TROUBLE!

SOCCER MOM OF A SHADOW CHASER

Today was opening day of the soccer season.

Our little "not so natural", Derek, was back on the field chasing butterflies and his shadow all at once.  I think that's it's really cute, but I know that it drives Philip nuts to see his son get lost in the joy of being outside in the elements, rather than concentrate on exactly where the ball is.  He also misplayed a couple of balls which lead to goals for the other team, and did not play much in the game after that--warming the bench as usual.

Derek can't help himself, though.  It is the way that he is.  He has never really been excited about playing sports, because he's not very good at it, but is pushed into it because Philip thinks that it is important for him to be in a team situation.  I do not know if that is true.  He's already in the boy scouts, and the school choir, and I think that he has a good amount of peer interaction.  I really don't see how playing a sport that you are not very good at will help you become more popular.  Philip doesn't see it that way, and is determined to stick to his guns.

Maybe I'm too protective.  A friend of mine has told me so, and I trust his judgment, even if I do not agree with him.  He thinks that I baby Derek too much.  He has often said that Derek needs to get out there, get himself dirty once in a while, and not spend so much time on the computer or video games.  Should have known better than to ask him for his opinion, because I know how he thinks.  He's worse than Philip.  These guys always seem to stick together when it comes to the idea of toughening up the boys.

Well, at least Derek doesn't play football.

BACK TO SCHOOL, AND NORMALCY HAS RETURNED

Derek had a great first day of second grade today.  He loves his new teacher, and met a new friend who sat next to him at lunch.  It's nice to see my son so happy.  Usually I dread September, because of Derek's struggles making friends, but I have a great feeling about this year--for both of us.  I hope that the smile on his face continues. 

While he was at school, I took care of the household chores that have been piling up.  It's amazing how much I have missed over the summer.  I worked my butt off today--did the Tuesday chores, but also Wednesday's chores as well.   

I worked hard today because I have a meeting tomorrow that I have been looking forward to,  and I do not want to miss it.  I will not be able to be home until right before Derek comes home,  but, I am well prepared because I made a lasagna ready to throw into the oven for dinner.  All will be finished by the time that Philip comes home from work.   I'm thinking ahead and back to the prepared Mom that I usually am.

By the way, I'm down 20.  I am happy about that and the days ahead.  I feel like I'm a new woman!

I HAVE A FREE DAY COMING UP!

Philip is taking Derek out early tomorrow, and returning in the late afternoon. That means that it will be a free day for mom!  I don't have many of those, especially in the summer, so I am truly looking forward to it.

I really don't know what I'm going to do.  I really do want to relax, but first I was thinking of doing a little walk in the park after yoga  in the morning.  Maybe I'll ride my bike.  Then later, I'll sit in the backyard with a glass of lemonade and read a book.  It will be quiet enough to do that.  

One thing that I will definitely not do is house work.  Tomorrow, I'm going to be lazy, and think only of myself--for once.   No worries, no problems--all relaxation.  Can't wait.

AFTER A ROUGH WEEK, I'M BACK ON TRACK

I did not lose weight this week, in fact, I gained a pound.  I was one pound away from twenty, now I'm two pounds.  Maybe it was the amount of food that I made on Monday, or the brownies that I ate.  I had a lot to think about, and when I'm stressed, I eat.  When I think, I eat.  I am a stress eater.

Last night, I went for a walk to clear my head, and afterwards I became more determined than ever to get the bad feelings out of my head.  No more feeling sorry for myself.  I'm making a comeback!

I've been good today, and I'm planning on keeping it that way.  I'm back on track and everything is back to normal.  No more slip-ups!

I'M GETTING SICK OF FAILURE

I tried.  I swear to God, I tried.  Desperate times calls for desperate measures, so I tried.

I made his favorite food.  I put our son to bed early.  I tried to get his attention, but was rejected...again.  I don't know how much more my ego can take.  I'm mortified.

A half-hour ago, after he went to bed (IN THE GUEST ROOM), I was literally crying in the bathtub and praying for guidance.  Now, I'm sitting bleary-eyed in front of the computer, and I'm still miserable.   I wish that I had a husband that did not take me for granted--I really do.   I desperately need support from him so that my mind does not start to wander.  The problem is that I know exactly where to find the support I need, but it's not an option.  I wish it were that easy.

I'm wishing so many things at this point.  I'm close to the edge, and hoping that I will not fall.

WENT SHOPPING FOR A DRESS AND I'M DOWN A SIZE!

I'm going to a wedding tomorrow.  Philip's cousin Charlene is getting married, and we are leaving at about eleven in the morning.  With all that has been going on lately, I have forgotten the fact that I had to buy a new dress for the occasion.  Shopping for me has always been an all day nightmare.

So I dropped off Derek at Chloe's, and I went to the mall.  I went to my usual store, and to my surprise, it did not take long for me to find what I was looking for.  I brought it into the dressing room, but when I tried it on, it was TOO BIG!  Hooray!

It's funny that I didn't realize that losing fifteen pounds would make me have to try on ten different dresses (I should have brought Chloe with me to hand dresses over the door), but I was happy to run back and forth.  The usual shopping nightmare was a happy occasion, and I finally found the perfect dress.  It looks absolutely wonderful on my slimmer body.  

I haven't reached my goal weight yet, but yet I can't even describe how happy I am!  I feel like a new woman!  I can't wait to show off the new me!

MY TURN TO STEP UP

Mark is home from the hospital.  He had an accident a few days ago and totaled his motorcycle.  Thank God that he was wearing a helmet because it could have been much worse than concussion symptoms.

His mother is coming to stay with him for the week, but until then, we're going to look after him for two days (me and Derek).  I made him dinner and cleaned his house for when he came home.  God forbid it looked like that when his mother came over.  He is not exactly a neat nick.  I didn't think that anyone could eat so much pizza and still look like he does.

I'm glad to be able to help him out for a change.  Between the car repairs, rides home, and last second babysitting, this was the least that I could do.  Hopefully, he will be back to himself after the week is over.  Right now, he is not.  He is cranky and bored--like an overgrown baby.  He actually tried to talk me into letting him mow his lawn for some odd reason.  I told him that if I saw him out there, I would break both his arms.  He pouted, but he listened.  It's nice to have someone listen to me, for a change.

I DRANK A LITTLE TOO MUCH THE OTHER NIGHT

It's was Mom's night out. Me, Chloe, Theresa (and unfortunately Roberta and a couple of her friends).  I met them there because Philip had to work on Saturday, so I was a little late.  I was drinking iced tea--I swear.

We were at a popular place called the Landing, which is a restaurant in another town.  It is popular because it has a deck that overlooks the lake.  There was a band playing old classics in the corner of the deck and we were at a table out there, having a good time.  Then I saw a friend of mine show up with a date, and suddenly I was agreeing to take a shot from a pitcher that two young men had sent over for the table of rowdy women.  Big mistake.

I really do not remember much after that, although I am told that I had a good time.  I had to be driven home (obviously).

Sunday is pretty much a blur.  Philip's parents, sister, husband and extremely loud kids came over for Philip's birthday party.  Luckily, I was well prepared for that.   Sometimes being organized has its advantages.  It was a bit noisy, and I was so thankful when they left and I could finally call Chloe and find out what really happened the night before. 

Highlights:  She told me that I dropped by Mark's table and ruined his date (he was the friend with the date, and I don't remember doing that).  She also informed me that when it was time to leave, I was adamant that I was fit to drive.  She enlisted Mark (the cop) to convince me not to drive home.  He volunteered to drive the van, and his date followed in her truck.  Talk about embarrassing.

I tried my best to avoid running into Mark, and did not see him until today I went to the old age home.  I went to visit Frank and Mark was there visiting his grandfather who is--get this--Frank.  Small world, isn't it?  Frank was not in his room at the time, and as we waited and talked, I made sure that I apologized to Mark, and thanked him for making sure that I got home safe that night. 

Regarding Frank, there was something alarming that happened.  Frank has been getting a little confused, lately.  I saw it before, and today, Frank was nowhere to be found.  After a search, we found him in another room on another floor.  At first, he didn't know who I was, then later, he thought that I was Mark's wife. I found this very troubling, and I could see the concern in Mark's face.  I hope that isn't a sign of things to come.

ANOTHER TWO DOWN AND A NEW SUIT FOR THE BEACH

I lost another two lbs.  Yeah, Victoria!  

I just happened to get my new bathing suit in the mail from Land's End just in time.  It's a blue one-piece, and it looks terrific, I must admit.  I actually wore it without the over-sized t-shirt!  Well, I didn't actually flaunt myself.  I was talked in to taking off the so-called "hideous sunflower t-shirt".

This is the suit, not me (I wish)

Once on the beach, I managed to avoid the other women on the beach with their wine and cheese, and annoying children who love to pick on Derek.  Or they purposely did not see me, like I purposely did not see them.  I sat in my usual spot, pulled out a book, saw that Derek was having fun playing with some other kids, so I started to read.

I think that I started to doze off, but then heard a very familiar voice asking if he could sit down. I saw that it was Mark, and I was surprised to see him at the beach, but I said yes.  Thank God he didn't bring up the dinner fiasco.  I was happy about that.

Two minutes later (or was it seconds?), Roberta came jogging over like she was auditioning for Baywatch, and invited Mark over for wine and cheese (and oh yeah, me too).  To my surprise, and probably his as well, he politely declined saying something about working the late shift.  Roberta smiled (fakely--is that a word?), asked if he liked her skimpy bikini (he said he did--I wanted to puke at this point) and then bounced all the way back to the woman's meeting on the beach.  It really wouldn't have made a difference if he joined them or not because I was there alone to begin with, however, it was nice to know that he wouldn't dump me for a group of adoring women.  I think that he's growing up!

Then he busted my chops because I was wearing the over-sized beach t-shirt, and he hates when I wear them (I won't tell you how he said it, but it was back to the old Mark).  He said that I shouldn't cover up the fact that I've lost weight.  I was stunned, because I didn't think that he noticed that I've lost twelve pounds (nobody else seemed to notice).   

I actually asked him advice on how to get Philip's attention, and after rolling his eyes,  he intimated that Philip should be more worried about getting my attention, which made me laugh.  Then he said that I should walk around wearing the bathing suit, and that would definitely get Philip's attention.  I think that I may have blushed.

THREE MORE--I'M ON A ROLL NOW

Another week, another three pounds.  Down eight now. Hooray for me!

I did not cave with the wine and cheese at the beach.  When I made lasagna for the family, I ate a salad with grilled chicken, and then I sent the second tray next door (owed him because he did me a huge favor). I'm walking twice a week, going to the gym once a week and doing yoga on the other days. I'm brainwashed, and I feel great.

WITH DAYS LIKE THIS, WHO WOULD WANT TO GET UP IN THE MORNING?

EVERYTHING WENT WRONG TODAY.  EVERYTHING.

Let me just start out by saying that Philip is on a business trip and is gone all week.  Chloe is also away.  So, of course it is the perfect time for disaster to happen.

I was at the mall with Derek, and it was about 100 degrees out there, so we went to the movies, stopped for ice cream, etc.  When we walked to the van in the parking lot, we were hot and sweaty and I wanted to turn on the AC immediately, drive home and make the lasagna for the church picnic tomorrow.  Guess what happened?

The van did not start.

So here it is, hot as hell, and we're stranded at the mall.  I immediately called triple A, and then I found out that my membership was not found, or it was expired--I don't quite remember what the person said, because I was too busy watching beads of sweat blind my eyes.  It didn't help that Derek started to complain that it was hot.

After going over my options, I decided to see if Mark was home and test this new friendship of ours.  Thirty minutes later he arrived with some woman named Barbara or Becky or whatever her name was.  He told me that I was out of gas, but in my defense, he said that it was probably a gas gauge problem?  He said that he didn't mind bailing me out, but I could tell that I threw a wrench into his afternoon.

I finally made it home, and was a little late to start making the lasagnas.  I put on the oven to heat up, but it didn't heat up.  The stove was working, but not the oven.  I tried to call Chloe, but there was no answer,  Then I remembered that she was on vacation.  Then I remembered that someone else was home.

As I arrived with the uncooked lasagna, Becky or Barbara or whoever was walking out the door, mumbling obscenities under her breath.  Mark tried to convince her to stay, but there was no use.  I don't know what her problem was.  I was only using the kitchen.

LITTLE TROPHIES

I'm so proud of Derek.  

Just got back from the baseball awards ceremony.  I know that everyone gets a trophy in this league, but it's his first one.  He was so excited, and I was ecstatic to see his little eyes light up.  

I love that kid so much.

BACHELOR UPDATE

When I found out that I was getting a new neighbor to replace the much beloved Girardi's, I was a little disappointed that a family wasn't moving next door.  There were no children for Derek to play with, and no mom for me to bond with.  My neighbor turned out to be a 40-ish year old bachelor, but I still figured that I'd give him a chance.

Well, on the night he moved in, there was a thunderstorm.  I should have taken that as an omen.  He was nice at first, but soon after that I realized that I didn't like him. 

He turned me off as soon as he sat down at my table and started to talk.  I don't know what it was about him--his cocky attitude, his tattoo or the way that he thinks that he is better than anyone else.

Derek and Philip seem to like him--of course.  I call it a sort of a hero worship. He has this enviable (to them, anyway) bachelor lifestyle.  Women everywhere, a pilot's license (used to be in the navy) and drives a stupid motorcycle that he restored himself.  He even promised to take Derek for a ride in both.  I can tell you one thing--he will have to drive over my dead body.

NEW NEIGHBOR UPDATE

Well, I guess that I'm not going to get what I wanted as far as the new next door neighbor thing goes.  Word has it that my new neighbor is going to be a forty-year old bachelor with no children.  Oh well.  I guess that Derek will not get his new playmate.
  

this is not him (I don't think)

 
I'm sure that he's very nice, but this is like the worst case scenario.  I can only hope that he is quiet and keeps to himself.

HEARTBREAK

THE GIRARDIS ARE GONE.  

It was a date that I had been dreading for a while.  Derek is beside himself because his best friend is gone.  Lots of hugs and good luck wishes, and then Derek sat on his bed in his room, heartbroken.

I can only hope that whoever buys this house next door is at least on half the type of people that the Girardis are.  I am going to miss my friends, and will try to stay in touch, but they moved to Texas.  They may as well have gone to the moon.  We probably will never see them again.

UN-DECORATING IS A DRAG

Well the tree is down and the Christmas decorations are put away.  It's January 7th.  It's kind of depressing, really. 

It seems that every year, I get so caught up in the lead up to Christmas.  I baked cookies like a madman.  Shopped at the mall for family and friends.  Ran here and there, visiting the old age home, etc.  I had Derek's picture taken at Sears and had it made into photo cards, then sent them out.   Before I knew it, Derek's Christmas concert happened, and Christmas was right around the corner.   December seemed to go so fast.  Too fast.

So now it's a new year, 2015.  Our neighbors are moving away in a month.  Derek has to fit as much playtime as he can with his best friend before he moves to their new house in Texas.  I'm not looking forward to it, and I have no idea what to expect from a new neighbor.  They have not sold the house yet.